I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
