id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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