My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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