Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize