did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
