i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
