Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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