they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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