It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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