cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
