covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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