Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
