Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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