I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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