I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
