she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
