They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize