Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
