Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The dick lei will go down in squad history
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
