if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
