I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
