atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
