I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
