I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
