Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
