You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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