Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we're so committed to being not committed
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
