I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
