i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
