we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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