You're completely useless in the revolution.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
