the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sober January is a disaster.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How external is "for external use only"?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
