I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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