I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
