every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize