is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
