I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's always time for handjobs
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She needs sedatives and a leash
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
