you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize