btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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