I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
