hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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