I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sober January is a disaster.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize