Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
