I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
