I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
