after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
