i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
