tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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