OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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