i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
