I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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