Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
