I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
