Do you still have your period?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
