I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
