This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
