note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
