i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
