One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
