the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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