So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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