Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i will never coherently bang her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
