I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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