you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
