I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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